By Lisa Morgan
A warning to the reader: The artists presented in the following article are very likely to breach your comfort zone with musical messages that may embarrass the hell out of you just prior to eliciting spontaneous, boisterous laughter. Side effects such as spontaneous hooting and hollering have been known to occur during live performances, as well as the unintentional spitting of adult beverages in mid sip as a result of shock. Should you be the type that is easily offended, still blush during tampon commercials, or are intimidated by beautiful, confident, talented and witty, precocious young women, the following show may not be for you. Please feel free to return to your coin collection, Facebook stalking, Pinterest pinning, or whatever it is that brings you joy, and read no further. As for the rest of you adults, 21 and older, get your happy, fun-lovin’ behinds to The Hood Bar for a night of music and laughter with Delaney & Paris. Their website may say it best when it states, “We are a musical comedy duo from Portland, Oregon. Most of our music is sexually explicit, and we will Double Penetrate your mind lyrically.”
After two years of chasing down this sexy dynamic duo of saucy musical satire, Brandon Ray Henderson’s tireless efforts have finally paid off. On the heels of releasing their first album, Cute but Not Nice, these two beautiful, talented ladies are touring California for the first time, starting with Palm Desert’s Hood Bar. Their new, 13 track album, available in hard copy or digital, includes original songs like “Don’t Hate Me for My Vagina”, “F’d in the A”, “Whiskey Dick”, “Get it Up”, and my personal favorite, “I’m Sorry that I Queefed on You”. These two ladies don’t just cross the line of what is “appropriate” or “polite”; they take a battering ram to it. And it is refreshingly hilarious.
Delaney explained, “People might look at us differently if we were fat or old. But the fact that guys want to have sex with us, we can say these disgusting things and make them NOT want to have sex with us. Or maybe they want to have sex with us even more… we don’t care. It’s just kind of liberating to get to say whatever we want.” For these entertainers, it’s more about stretching past the invisible boundaries, real and imagined, that put women in tidy boxes with pretty bows. They use their youth, beauty and impeccable skills in sarcasm to enjoy a freedom not all of us can experience in our own lives and professions. Half of the fun of a Delaney & Paris show is that through them, we can enjoy their liberation vicariously and risk free.
Delaney lived in Nashville for a few years in her mid-teens, watching her very talented singer/songwriter mother try and navigate her career in the music industry as a country singer. Delaney picked up the guitar at around age 14, and was pretty much self-taught aside from a little help from her mom and brother. For Delaney, becoming a musician was always in her sights, but as to which direction she would take, she was never quite clear. “It was hard watching my mom go through so much pursuing her music,” she shared. “I pretty much knew I wanted a career in music, I just wasn’t sure exactly what do with it. The music industry is just so unpredictable.” She was unsure, that is, until she met Paris.
Paris, whose parents met at the community theater, grew up immersed in musical theater. Paris had been writing music in a style fitting for a television show, commercial or musical theater since she was 5 years old. “I never learned how to play an instrument growing up, because I’d give up,” she shared light heartedly. “When Delaney and I met, I had written a song that I wanted to perform for our final in choir at Portland Community College, but I didn’t have an instrument. Delaney offered to write guitar for it, and we’ve been playing together ever since.”
In the early part of their writing together, their songs were a bit tamer. “The first song I brought to Delaney was about how I basically thought men were stupid and boring,” said Paris. “I was just looking for someone to have sex with. Men would try to train me and contain me and make me into their girlfriend, and it was just never going to work. The lyrics go, ‘Tonight what I’ll do, is make sweet, sweet love to you, until I get so bored I want to die.’ Then Delaney came to me with a song called ‘I’ll Shut You Up’, about a guy she was seeing. She didn’t like it when he talked. She just wanted this guy to shut up and have sex with her. We don’t ever really play these songs anymore… our music’s grown so much since then. We were just getting to know each other and going through different things. I had just come out of an abusive relationship when I met Delaney, and the music and her friendship really empowered me.”
I asked Paris how her family felt about this considerably brash form of entertainment, asking if they were supportive or offended. “A little bit of both,” she shared. “I was raised to be very open and independent. When I first started writing with Delaney, I was really proud of what we were doing. I played the song ‘I’d Swallow It’ for my mom. She said, ‘Oh – just what I always dreamed of…my little girl singing songs about swallowing cum.’ I said, ‘I know mom! But it’s a really good song!’ They come to shows sometimes. Some of the lyrics make them a little bit uncomfortable, but they understand that I care about what I’m doing, and that I am passionate about performing and creating art.”
This dynamically dicey dose of double trouble could have easily pursued a more traditional music career with their skill set, but together, they have found a niche that is uniquely and brilliantly their own, and have formed a beautiful friendship in the process. You can check out their album, Cute but Not Nice, and purchase their music at www.delaneyandparis.com. You can find all their social media links there as well. Oh, and just one more note: when you come to their show, should you hear someone in the crowd, shout out at the top of their lungs, “My Herpes Hurt!”- don’t be alarmed. More than likely, they are just requesting one of the more popular songs from the new album.
A Night in Delaney & Paris starts at 10pm, this Friday night, August 9th at The Hood Bar in Palm Desert. It’s a free show, with local favorites Giselle Woo and Symara Stone opening for the pair with their own, beautiful, musical prowess. This is a guaranteed night of great music and raunchy revelry that you’ll not soon forget.