On the upcoming April ballot in Yankeetown, Florida, voters will have a chance to get unsafe drivers off of the road.  Their problems happen every winter when hundreds of seniors descend on this small and sleepy seaside village.  “They stop at green lights, go twenty-five in a fifty zone…they are a bigger menace than them gators,” says Mayor Emil Bogart.  If the ballot measure passes, bad drivers will have their cars impounded for 90 days.

Kuala Lumpur’s newest restaurant is causing a bit of an international incident after Koala Kuala owner, Chia Saeed, decided to feature Koala in as their signature dish.  “Koala Kuala is a spin on the traditional Tandoori dishes of KL while paying respects to our Pacific neighbors,” states Saeed.  Australia’s ambassador to Kuala Lumpur, Andrew Steepleridge, has filed a protest with the state in hopes that leadership will intervene.  Saeed is best known for his use of exotic meats at the Beijing Culinary Competitions where he won second place in 2013 for Platypus Murtabak in a lychee, lime and jackfruit reduction. 

As April 1st is International Tatting Day, Vice President Mike Pence will be attempting to ingratiate himself with Trump voters by getting a tattoo of Jesus on the Cross from legendary tattoo artist, Paul Booth.  While details of the design were sketchy at press time, sources close to Booth state that Pence wants the tattoo to demonstrate his love “Of God and Country”.

Locally, TMZ Live reported that Hillary Clinton will be in the desert for the Dinah Shore Open.  While friends do not expect her to make any public appearances, she is visiting for a fun weekend with the girls before making final decisions as it relates to a potential run for the Mayor’s office in New York City.

Guy Fieri came to the desert this week to film an episode of “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives” featuring local eateries, Zobo & Meesters, Wilma & Friedas and Grill-a Burger.  The desert can expect additional television productions over the summer as CBS is working feverishly on the set of next season’s “Survivor, North Shore” which is expected to begin filming in August.  Meanwhile, Showtime is considering a reality show revolving around the exploits of guests at nude hotel and swinger spa, Sea Mountain in Desert Hot Springs.  Meanwhile, the History Channel is considering a 24 episode documentary that features the sordid histories of notoriously corrupt cities with Palm Springs expected to be a two-part story that concludes with the city’s current woes.

While I hope you realize that this week’s article is an April Fool’s joke, this last story is real and happening April 1st and 2nd in Cathedral City:

German Prince Mario-Max Schaumburg-Lippe is bringing a Caviar Festival to town and filming the event for a new reality show called, “From Hobby to Lobby”.  From 2-5pm, you can sample caviar and beverages for only $20.  At 8pm, don your masks, wear red and black and join the Prince’s Masquerade Party. 

For what it is worth, the ‘Prince’s’ real name is Mario Max Prince Antonius Adolf Albert Isidor Eduard Oliver Gertraud Manuela Edith Helga Magdalena Prinz zu Schaumburg-Lippe.  His accomplice…I mean partner…is Alla Matusov who is a wannabe film producer and principal of Green School of Hollywood, in Los Angeles.

In all honesty, Alla and the Prince look to have one of the most fun and ridiculous April Fool’s Day events that has come to the Coachella Valley in a long time.  Please go to their festival as we have to support their absurdity if we want more silliness to follow. 

Haddon Libby is an Investment Advisor at Winslow Drake and can be reached at 760.449.6349 or by email at HLibby@WinslowDrake.com.  If you or a friend need a smart and honest team to manage your investments, call them.