by Sunny Simon
The other day at a board meeting I silently observed the behavior of one of the members. Let’s call her Debbie. She is someone I rather admire for her no nonsense style. This is one individual who is unafraid to take a less than popular stance. Right or wrong, Debbie is recognized for rarely being neutral. She voices her opinion loud and clear never pausing to sugar-coat or dance around her point-of-view.
Although I do not always feel Debbie is right and would not want to consistently emulate her behavior, there is much to be said for people who are unafraid of creating a wave or two. Many of us hold back because we are terrified of making mistakes and being judged by friends and associates. Do you sometimes fall into that category? I know I do.
Some of us suffer from perfectionist tendencies. Thinking you must get it perfect is not only stifling and stressful, but impossible. In her book, “Never Good Enough: Freeing Yourself from Chains of Perfectionism,” Monica Ramirez Basco, PhD warns setting high standards and working hard toward achievement of those goals in not the problem. Issues occur when failing to achieve perfectionism catapults us into a whirlwind of emotional wear and tear eventually resulting in a state of unhappiness.
Releasing our tendencies to continually strive for perfection requires a concerted effort. Martha Beck, sociologist and renowned life coach suggests we begin by rejecting our inner critic. You can easily recognize that demon. It is the loud voice inside your head constantly berating you when your actions are less than flawless. Next time you hear that negative inner dialect trying to prevent you from speaking up and taking action, mentally change the channel. Your inner gremlin cannot win if you refuse to play the game.
As we move into the New Year, make a pact with yourself to start pushing some boundaries. You may have to start small, but baby steps generate momentum. Remind yourself continually playing it safe is exhausting and drains you of your power. Granted, taking a stand involves a certain amount of courage and moxie, but avoiding those out-of-the-comfort-zone actions only serves to keep you warming the bench.
So get in the game, be willing to get down in the dirt and let your shoes get a little scruffy. Take your power back, create a few waves and let your voice be heard. Break a few of your rigid rules. You’ll be amazed at the results! Sunny Simon is the owner of Raise the Bar High Life and Career Coaching. More about Sunny at www.raisethebarhigh.com
