G.I. JOE: RETARDATION? (NO OFFENSE)
G.I. JOE: RETALIATION 3D
Duke, Snake Eyes, Flint, Storm Shadow, Roadblock, Mouse and Jinx among other cartoonish characters laughably engage in non-stop 3D action that is aimed at whom? Little boys that play with 12 inch dolls and their dads? Saying GIJ V.2 is better than it’s predecessor is not high praise. Too many characters in too complex, absurd and ridiculous plot lines and way too many decibels add to the bombastic chaos. Here the Joes are not only fighting their mortal enemy Cobra but also internal threats from their – “our” — own government that jeopardize their very existence. This is the epitome of concussive, mindless, popcorn entertainment. The President’s kidnaped (What? Not again!), ninjas, knives, satellite weapons, London’s decimated and so on. It actually wallows in its stupidity. Dwayne “the Rock” Jonson, Channing Tatum and Bruce Willis collect their checks and Jon Chu (“Justin Bieber: Never Say Never”) directs like a dancer on steroids. And to think that this $185 million production (original cost before advertising) was held back from a late 2012 release to take advantage of Tatum’s alleged “star power” and to give the movie an expensive $20 million 3D fix with additional shots/edits for more action – but even less clarity and coherence. Now playing.
NEW FOR THE HOME THEATER:
DRAGON WU-XIA
Liu (Donnie Yen) seems a shy, simple village craftsman whose quiet life is destroyed when he saves a shopkeeper from two notorious gangsters in the town’s general store. But soon Liu is investigation by detective Xu who is curious how Liu could single-handedly take on the vicious gangsters.
Xu believes Liu’s martial arts expertise is a result of training by a vicious clan. Xu dogs Liu until China’s criminal underworld is drawn into the action, when all hell breaks loose in this unexpected, twisty, martial arts psychodrama. Fascinating rain forest mountain locations and an eclectic score that ranges from samba to rock add immensely to the pleasures. Blood always leaves a trail. Anchor Bay. Blu-ray.
PLANET OCEAN
Directed by Yann Arthus-Bertrand, a filmmaker and environmentalist, and narrated by actor Josh Duhamel, this cinematic adventure invites us to change the way we look at the ocean and appreciate the grandness of its natural mystery. Truly dazzling aerial and underwater imagery captured in extreme geographical conditions across the globe deliver unprecedented views of the least known places on earth. This easy on the eye documentary also provides a better understanding of humankind’s vital relationship to our seas and makes the case for an urgent rethinking for sustainable change. We’ve heard these things before, but its always good to be reminded in such a beautiful and immediate way. Nice bonus features include striking images in the sky above Rio de Janeiro and Shanghai’s busy harbor as well as additional underwater marine life. Universal. Blu-ray.
THE BIBLE: IN THE BEGINNING
Producer Dino De Laurentiis intended his 1966 film to be the first installment in an epic franchise that would finally cover the entirety of the whole Bible – both the Old and New Testament. Although a number of directors were initially interested and even attached to the ambitious project, when it came to a start date, only versatile John Huston stuck with it. Huston’s movie – the initial stand alone segment — although nearly three hours, only covers the opening 22 chapters of the Bible’s first book of Genesis.
The big beats include: Creation, Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Noah and the Flood, Nimrod and the Tower of Babel, the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah and of course the story of Abraham. Although the movie is ponderous at times, there are brilliant moments and striking imagery. Michael Parks mimes an effective Adam, Richard Harris is a distraught Cain, director John Huston is a terrific Noah (the full size woven ark is a wonder), Stephen Boyd has moments as mighty hunter Nimrod atop Babel’s tower, George C. Scott is a fine Abraham, Peter O’Toole is mystical and memorable as three visiting angels, and Ava Gardner is Abraham’s beautiful Sarah. If the History Channel’s cheesy Reader’s Digest style condensed Bible disappoints, try this newly remastered hi-def version for an expanded narrative. 20th Century Fox. Blu-ray.
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