While many of us are preoccupied with the daily grind of life, elected lawmakers were busy crafting new laws to prevent society from descending into mayhem and chaos.
Lawmakers in Illinois were active tackling some of societies thorniest issues. With the start of the New Year, it is now illegal to ‘pop a wheelie’ on a motorcycle while speeding. As a concession to motorcyclists, they are allowed to go through red lights after stopping for safety so long as the city has fewer than two million people. Allowing motorcyclists to go through red lights is allowed because road sensors that trigger many traffic light changes are not activated by the lightweight two wheelers.
Illinois also passed a ban on the sale of shark fins – what must be a rampant problem in this landlocked city. Starting just this year, necrophilia is illegal as is moving a corpse. Also, if you are a sex offender, you can no longer dress up as the Easter Bunny, Santa Clause or hand out candy at Halloween. Lastly, you may no longer pee in your neighbor’s mouth.
Massachusetts was not as busy although they were easily as silly. If going to a wake in that state, remember to eat no more than three sandwiches or you can be thrown in jail.
Here is California, it is now legal to have a driverless vehicle on the road so long as there is a person in the car. For those of us who continue to navigate our cars, we can now produce our proof of insurance via our smartphones. Just take a picture of your insurance, store it on your phone and you are fine.
In Mississippi, if you trick a woman into the bedroom by stating that you intend to marry her and you do not, you have violated Section 97 of the criminal code and may be prosecuted. The concern in Iowa is not with what you say but how you look. Men with mustaches may not kiss woman. I’m guessing that mustached men may only kiss other men – where is the direct flight from Des Moines to Palm Springs?
Wellington, Kansas outlawed a person having more than four cats. This was because of a growth in the unspayed or neutered cat population. “We pushed long and hard for this,” said Councilmember John Brand.
Over in Kentucky, they made it illegal to release pigs into the wild. Who knew that they were having a feral pig problem? Snake worshipping remained legal though.
If you thought America is the only place for silly laws, let’s go overseas.
In Israel, it is illegal to have a pig farm unless the pigs are for research. In the event that you produce more pigs than the researchers want, you can sell those for food. It should be no surprise that most Israeli pig farmers create huge surpluses.
In Rome, you can be fined $650 for eating and drinking at ‘historic landmarks.’ Greece protects their historic landmarks by banning stiletto heels.
High schoolers in Bangladesh can be sent to jail if they are caught cheating on tests while Singapore hits you with fines and potentially jail time if you chew gum in public or walk around inside of your house naked with the blinds open.
Lastly, Mayor Gerard Lalanne of Sarpourenx, France told his city’s 260 residents that the city had passed an ordinance against dying in the city unless the resident has a plot to be buried in. Failure to comply with this ordinance will be ‘severely punished.” I’m not sure how you severely punish the dead. Cremation seems like a simple solution but what do I know.
