by Sunny Simon
I don’t always get it right. That was pretty obvious yesterday when I opened a thank you email. Although I was happy to be the recipient of some gratitude, color me ashamed of myself. You see, I extended a stranger a profession courtesy, no charge, no strings attached, just to be helpful and practice kindness. Later I grumbled in my head for at least 48 hours about the silence. Where was a show of appreciation?
After this experience I recognized two things needing change. Obviously, my act of kindness wasn’t “no strings attached.” I have a habit of expecting immediate gratitude in response when I should be giving for the sake of giving. A true and sincere giver expects nothing in return. Not only did I want a “thanks a lot,” I wanted it in my defined timeframe. When I didn’t get it, I let my thoughts yammer on about allowing others to take advantage of me.
As this wasn’t the first time I found myself in such a quandary, I decided to teach myself a lesson by putting some thought into overcoming my desire for give and take. By doing my homework, I came up with several life lessons to put into action.
If you’ve ever been to a second grader’s softball game, you may have noticed no one keeps score. Using that philosophy to begin a list of corrective action items I wrote, “throw away the scoreboard.” Coupling my new rule with a familiar phrase I also jotted down, “pay it forward.” As the beneficiary of kind acts I underlined that one twice.
Often my expectations run high. Had I given freely, with no agenda, the thank you email would have been a sweet surprise. Number three on my list was, “set no expectations.” Then another thought occurred to me. There is no such thing as too much kindness. Why did I offer up a good deed and then feel someone was taking advantage of my good nature? Quickly I penned my number four, “Give, give and give some more.”
Five seems like a good number so the last thing I wrote refers to my being best self which is who I want to be on a daily basis. Any success I’ve experienced in my career was because I took my job seriously. Got it! My fifth and final rule is, “It is my job to be kind.” This week I’m am bound and determined to put my big five into practice. Sunny Simon is the owner of Raise the Bar High Life and Career Coaching and the author of the blog www.lifeonthesunnyside.net
