By Sunny Simon
While walking my dog yesterday I watched a drama unfolding at the children’s playground. An interesting interaction occurred between a mother and her five-year-old twin boys. One of the boys decided it was much more fun to use the slide going down backward. This went on for a few minutes before their mom, resting on a bench immersed in a magazine looked up to see the out-of-the box play style. In a no-nonsense but conversant tone she avoided the “don’t” word and in modern mom speak used a teaching tactic by explaining the preferred and safer way to enjoy the ride was feet first. Thinking she had the situation under control this young mother went back to her magazine. One twin decided mom was right and followed her instructions. The other ignored her speech and continued to enjoy the ride in reverse. Before long she noticed the rebel and asked her son why he chose to disobey. He voiced something about liking it better his way as she quietly escorted him off the playground and sentenced him to a time-out.
Ages five to one-hundred and five there are some individuals who refuse to take no for an answer. Although there are circumstances when push-back is warranted, we all grow weary of people who think they are exempt from rules. Refusing to take no for an answer can indicate disrespect for the person or organization tasked with enforcing the rules.
As a life and career coach I am often asked by corporations to collaborate on team issues. In the workplace, respecting company guidelines is important to the success of an organization. Many of us can probably recall an instance where everyone on the team contributed and obeyed the rules except one dissenter. Morale declines when individuals break convention and push the envelope. Additionally, it takes time and energy to bring the lone sheep back into the fold.
I realized some people disregard rules because of the way a message is conveyed. Few react positively to a wagging finger delivery whether it is physical or figurative. I admired the way our modern mom omitted the word “no” by saying “not this way.” Obviously it worked, well at least partially. My bottom line for dealing with dissenters is this; first keep rules to a minimum. Secondly, review existing rules for clarity and logic. Lastly, reel in the rebels in your life by repeating the importance of complying. Don’t be discouraged by the few who need to hear the message more than once. Like the mom with her errant twin, her patience was a virtue not a hindrance to the message. It just took a little more time.
Sunny Simon is the owner of Raise the Bar High Life and Career Coaching. More about Sunny at www.raisethebarhigh.com
