By Sunny Simon
Writing a book review is a daunting task. I detest writing them, but love reading them. Not so with my friend Lynne, an author, a blogger, a motivational speaker, and someone I can always tap into her for advice on writing or social media. We are connected on Goodreads, a free website for book lovers. I am drawn to following Lynne’s recommendations because she writes the most comprehensive book reviews offering up an honest critical assessment and providing key insight on content. Frankly, I thought she worked for Kirkus Media as a book reviewer, but that is not the case. Lynne recently told me she gets requests on a daily basis from publicists and authors she does not know asking to review their books. Sometimes they want her to write a blog post about them. She invests hours into honoring their requests which is beginning to wear on Lynne. Why? No reciprocity.
As a life and career coach, I counsel clients on balancing benevolent giving acts with setting boundaries. We should take on some pro bono work in our quest to make a difference in the lives of others; however, there is a difference between living generously and being a doormat.
Okay, so maybe you haven’t encountered a book reviewing problem, but is there an area of your life where you exceed the giving limits? If you do feel put upon, it probably boils down to a time issue. Sure, you want to step-up by saying “yes” to every request, but doing so will quickly get you to burnout and a feeling of resentment. You might end up coming off like a martyr, not a persona you want to project.
Trust me, no is a viable two letter word. It can be used as a one word sentence. When you use it, stand your ground. Sound harsh? Not really. Perhaps a co-worker continually asks for help. The folks at the Emily Post Institute recommend implementing a “closing the door phrase” like: “Thanks for asking me but I cannot take on any extra work. I need to focus on my top responsibilities.”
You are not being self centered by saying no to extra work when it conflicts with your schedule and priorities. With a dose of diplomacy and tact, offer up a smile, a brief reason for the declination and express your no with grace. After setting down the boundaries, move on…no guilt allowed.
Sunny Simon is the owner of Raise the Bar High Life and Career Coaching and the author of the blog, www.lifeonthesunnyside.net
