Monday, March 17th starting at 11:00 am, Carrying On Until Tuesday, 1:00 am
By Lisa Lynn O’Morgan
Oscar Wild said it best: “Work is the curse of the drinking class.” ‘Tis a sad statement, and never more true than when St. Patty’s Day lands on, of all days, a Monday. For those scheduled to work on this most sacred of drinking holidays, Tilted Kilt, Palm Desert is only making matters worse for you. With four live bands, two DJs, a virtual river of green beer and crazy all-day drink specials served by their entire staff of lovely bar maids revealing their ample (cough) knowledge of craft beers, draft beers, wines, full bar and menu items, you will be hard pressed to stay away. Tilted Kilt, once again, spares no expense in providing the Coachella Valley with one of the largest celebrations of the beloved saint who single handedly ran off all of the snakes in Ireland!
If you are determined to fulfill your work duties on this sacred day then I solute you. But be warned, it won’t be easy. As you catch yourself staring at the clock Monday morning, there’s a good chance that you will begin to hear the sounds of your Irish homeland gently calling you on the breeze. Somewhere in the distance, the Gaelic sounds from the Palm Springs Bag Pipe Band playing An Irish Lullaby will begin to beckon you. Yes, they beckon YOU Franz De Klotz, and YOU Natalia Astankina; you who are Irish for only one gloriously green day. As you do your best to concentrate on the tasks at hand, you will swear you can hear the clinking of icy beer mugs full of cold, green beer, or perhaps find yourself listening for the slow, skillful, perfect pour of a frothy topped Guinness. “Oh Danny (Garcia) Boy, the pie is calling you; that would be Danny Boy’s Shepard’s Pie, calling you from the Tilted Kilt’s kitchen, with its seasoned ground beef, carrots, peas and mushroom gravy topped with garlic mashed potatoes and Parmesan cheese. You dare not even ponder on the Gaelic Chicken with its whiskey cream sauce. You must focus. Focus on work. Focus on… Hey, isn’t it almost lunch time?
Maybe you could just stop by for lunch. You could enjoy just one icy cold green beer with Tilted Kilt’s Scottish Cheese-steak salad (shaved rib-eye steak, sautéed peppers and onions and melted provolone cheese atop crispy bed of romaine lettuce). Sweet Mary, Joseph and Jesus, even the beer must be healthy if it’s green! But be careful my friend. You just might find yourself lost in the camaraderie of your Irish kinsmen as you join them in traditional Irish toasts. You’ll be tempted to use your fledgling Irish accent as you shout aloud along with them:
May you be in heaven a full half hour before the devil knows your dead.
May misfortune follow you the rest of your life….and never catch up.
Here’s to your coffin…May it be built of 100 year old oaks which I will plant tomorrow!
May the tap be open when it rusts!
If you venture outside to the balmy patio, you’ll enjoy the music of Pocket Yellow (pocketyellowband.com), playing a mix of alternative rock originals and covers. The music will inspire you to sing along with the beautiful Miss Morgan James on vocals. You’ll envy Johnny Carmona’s guitar skills, while moving to the rhythm of bass player, Isai Munoz, and drummer Jeronimo Arellano Contreras (the latter two, obviously Irish as well). This isn’t just any band; they were chosen as one of this year’s KCLB radio’s top ten, “Best of the Best” bands in the Coachella Valley.
If you find yourself tapping your foot to local country rock band, R Buckle Road that means it’s already 5 pm. Struck with momentary panic, you may suddenly notice the light green film on your teeth and realize that even if you did return to work, there would be no denying where you’ve been. Not to mention, there’s a good chance they heard you yelling “Blarney” over the KCLB 93.7 live radio remote. Don’t worry. R Buckle Road is more than happy to write a note or help you call in with one of their own, tried, tested and not so true, creative excuses passed down from their Irish ancestors:
“My fake eye keeps falling out of its socket.” ~ Greg McVincent, Lead Vocals, Guitar
“I received a threatening phone call from the electric company and I need to report it to the FBI.” ~ Mike McPedersen, Guitar, Vocals
“Dude! I got lost and now I’m in another state.” ~ Larry McPedersen, Vocals, Guitar, Harmonica
“I bit my tongue and I can’t talk.” ~ Cat McPedersen, Vocalist and Percussion
“My vehicle is surrounded by a swarm of bees and I can’t get out of my car.” ~ Lindy O’Bingham, Vocals and Kick Ass Sax
“Um, yeah. I’m not coming in.” ~ Bob O’Bingham, Bass
“Somebody glued all my doors and windows shut so I can’t leave the house.” ~ Lisa Lynn O’Morgan, Vocals and Bad Ideas
“I couldn’t decide what to wear.” ~ Carl Agnello Magilicutty (aka Smalls) Drums
Now that you have sufficiently handled that situation, you can sit back and relax as the band plays, “Slow it on Down”, “Old Friend”, “Rock Star” and “Let’s Drink!” along with other original songs perfectly paired with your adult beverage of choice. Immediately following R Buckle Road, the music of Two-Twelve (212) will keep you on your feet. The face melting guitar of Chuck Baum, the steady heart pounding brothers of rhythm, Jimmy Thomas on bass and Lenny Colvin on drums, with have you throwing your fist in the air cheering as rock vocalist, Mike Labrecque sings all the classic rock and roll that you know and love.
And the night is not even close to over yet. Two-Twelve will be followed by the make you bounce, and smile through a heartache, pulse lifting music of Spankshaft. This high energy pop/ska/punk band made up of brothers, Brandon Simpson (guitar and vocals) and Brent Simpson (bass and vocals), adopted bro Russel Waldron on drums and a dancing tenor and alto sax section (Justin McCormick and Clint Stoker, respectively) will remove any reasons to stand by watching quietly. This award winning band will fill the night air with music until it’s time for DJs James Gonzalez and Streek Marinez to spin all your favorite dance hits.
This entire celebration is free if you arrive before 7 pm and only $5 at the door after that. A trip to Vegas will be given away by KCLB 93.7 and the first 50 women will receive a lucky green carnation at the door, compliments of The Flower Company, Palm Desert. You can be confident that you’ll have had the night of your Irish-ish life at the Tilted Kilt’s largest celebration of the year. Above and beyond all the drink specials and entertainment, you’ll be extremely impressed by the lovely waitresses (they are just so…. NICE!), and you’ll have to admit that even the barkeep, Matty Mc Fleen, does not look half bad in a kilt. So why not just make plans to take the day off to gather with your friends at this fantastic establishment. As the old Irish saying goes, “If you’re enough lucky to be Irish… You’re lucky enough!” and at Tilted Kilt, Palm Desert, especially on St. Patrick’s Day, everybody’s Irish. Just remember, “Saint Patrick was a gentleman, who through strategy and stealth, drove all the snakes from Ireland – here’s toasting to his health…but not too many toastings, lest you lose yourself and then, forget the good Saint Patrick and see all those snakes again!” Beannachtam na Feile Padraig! (Happy St. Patricks Day!)
The Tilted Kilt Palm Desert is located at 72-191 Highway 111.
