By Bronwyn Ison
Often we hear one should compromise in a relationship. Compromising in any and all relationships will be a necessity. Regardless of how long you have known the person or what the dynamics are, compromise will be an integral component within your relationship.
Compromising is healthy and essential for a prospering relationship. Perhaps you are dating. Naturally you are going to have expectations of this person. Remember they will have expectations of you too. The word “compromise” may trouble you and lead you to believe that you are giving something up. Consider “cooperation” as a substitute. Nobody wants to feel as though they are relinquishing something or that the other person gains control with compromise. Cooperation, on the other hand, may create balance, strength and an open line of communication and mutual understanding.
Most people who are dating commit to saying a lot of what they think the other person wants to hear. This is a recipe for disaster. Be candid from the first date. Reacting to someone with a lack of authenticity is sure to backfire. Clearly this will be damaging to the future of the relationship. Not being yourself would be an over the top compromise of self. Do not negate what is important to you.
It is obvious we bring ourselves into the relationship. What follows us is our ego. It is inevitable. Our ego protects us to a certain degree. However, one must be cognizant of our little shadow. Ego, our fundamental survival instinct may keep us to bound to our own interest and sabotage future relationships.
Relationships need to be nurtured and both parties need to communicate. One if not the main reason relationships falter is the lack of communication. Two people can communicate, but are they saying the right words and asking the important questions? Often the answer is, no!
Striving for greater communication will take effort. Be laconic about how you feel and what you are thinking. This also means you should be clear about the questions you ask of the other person. Be prepared that whatever you ask you can reciprocate and give an honest answer. Don’t play games, lie, cut corners or be deceptive. Ask yourself, how would I feel if the shoe were on the other foot? Place yourself in your partner’s position. It may feel as though you are losing control. It is not necessary to compete with your partner.
Your relationship should be based upon friendship. Cultivating a best friendship will help both people to establish greater trust, intimacy and improved communication both verbal and non-verbal.
Whichever words appease you… “compromise” or “cooperation”… select one and execute within your relationships. You will only prosper and foster healthy relationships in your life.
Bronwyn Ison is the owner of Evolve Yoga. www.e-volveyoga.com 760.564.YOGA
