Book Review by Heidi Simmons
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Mom & Me & Mom
By Maya Angelou
Autobiography
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We all have mothers. Beyond bringing us into the world, good relationship or not, mothers can profoundly impact our lives and shape who we become. In Maya Angelou’s autobiography Mom & Me & Mom (Random House, 224 pages), the famous author and poet focuses specifically on her mother and how her influence shaped Angelou’s own life.
Vivian Baxter was married with two toddlers. She and her husband, Bailey Johnson, Sr. did not get along and raising small children seemed impossible. They lived in San Diego, California, and decided it would be best to send Maya, age three, and her brother Bailey, age five, to Stamp, Arkansas, to live with Johnson’s mother. They were put on a train without adult supervision, marked only with identification tags and their destination.
Ten years later, in 1941, Maya’s grandmother realized it was too dangerous for Bailey, a black male, outgoing teenager, to live in the south with rising racism and an active Klu Klux Klan. She knew there would be trouble and a difficult, if not impossible, future for Bailey in Arkansas. The siblings returned home to live with the mother who had abandoned them.
Teenage years are challenging for both parents and children. And at thirteen, Maya was already nearly six feet tall. She felt ugly, awkward and unlovable. Now she had to begin a relationship with the mother who rejected her.
Vivian immediately embraced her daughter and complimented her on her poise and beauty. Maya could not call Vivian “mother” and instead asked to call her Lady. When her mother asks why, Maya said it was because Vivian did not look like a mother. Her mother said, “Is Lady a person you might learn to like?” Maya said, “Yes.” It was the beginning of a relationship built with honest communication, mutual respect and unconditional love.
There are many wonderful stories of a young woman struggling to find her place and a strong mother who has her daughter’s back. When Maya wanted a job in San Francisco as a ticket and change girl on a trolley car, her mother made her feel she could get the job with determination and tenacity alone. Maya, black and only 15, following her mother’s advice, got the job. Maya was given the worst possible shift, four to eleven in the morning. Vivian would take her daughter to work and follow the trolley until daylight making sure her daughter was safe.
Unwed, Maya got pregnant at 17 and her mother was there to give her the support and help she needed without condemnation. Sometime later, when Maya was offered a job as an exotic dancer, Vivian made her costumes and encouraged her to dance so well that she need not remove her clothes. Maya was a big hit, which eventually lead to a successful career singing and dancing.
At one point, Vivian asked her adult daughter for help. Maya was told to please speak to her stepfather about sex. Vivian had needs and her husband was not taking care of “business”. Maya carefully and respectfully spoke to her stepfather, applying the skill, dignity and grace taught to her by her mother. It worked and Vivian and her husband were very happy.
Vivian Baxter was a good businesswoman and a pillar in the community. Her strength and leadership was admired by her children, friends and neighbors. Maya and her mother remained close until Vivian died in 1991. She often turned to her mother for advice, guidance and insight. Even later in Maya’s career, her mother always knew what to do and was ready to help.
Angelou reveals in the book that while she lived with her grandmother, Maya and her brother visited relatives in Saint Louis where Maya was raped. She was seven years old. Maya told her family and the rapist ended up dead. It was at this early age that Angelou realized the power of her voice and spoken words.
This is Maya Angelou’s seventh autobiographical book. It is a specific and loving look at a mother — her mother. It is about an intimate relationship between a mother and daughter and the surprisingly powerful influence it had on her life and the way it shaped her identity.
If you have not read Angelou or consider her only a poet, Mom & Me & Mom gives the reader an inside look into the woman and her colorful and creative life. She herself is amazing. Her character is fascinating and now we understand why. The book is not over-written. In fact, it is under-written — simple and straightforward. I am a new fan of Maya Angelou. Now 85, she has had a most remarkable life.
Mom & Me & Mom inspires me to be stronger for my kids and reminds me that a mother’s job is never done. Being a mother may not always be easy, but it is a tremendous opportunity to raise brave and beautiful people.
