By Haddon Libby
School season is back upon us. I personally believe that school should not start in the Coachella Valley until the risk of 117 degree days are behind us but what do I know.
While Thomas Jefferson proposed a national educational system following our independence from the British, it was only 95 years ago that elementary school was required of all children. The first state to require basic education was Massachusetts in 1852.
Fast forward 160 years to Governor Deval Patrick of Massachusetts who nearly banned bake sales from all schools in his state. His reasoning was that the cupcakes and brownies are not nutritious. Parents and school administrators took issue with his opinion given that schools had the bake sales to make up for shortfalls in state funding. Under pressure, Patrick quickly retreated from his Mayor Bloomberg moment.
One of the most absurd protections takes place in the United Kingdom where some schools ban students from having best friends. Their reasoning is that they are trying to protect the students from the pain associated with the end of friendships. While they are at it, they should teach kids to avoid having pets, getting married or having kids. Pets die, more than half of all marriages end in divorce and children leave home. Seems to me that they might want to protect the children from all of these life experiences. (Note: Of all high school romances that lead to marriage, 98% end in divorce).
Principal Mark Johnson of Oakdale School in Montville, Connecticut has banned all sports and games from recess where someone can “win”. You see, he doesn’t want the feelings of children hurt if they lose. He encourages them to skip rope, walk around, pick up trash, sing or play chess. As many parents found the restrictions absurd and complained, Johnson now allows kickball so long as no one keeps score (I never realized that chess isn’t a game…or that walking around and picking up trash is fun).
In Pottstown Middle School in Pennsylvania, Principal Gail Cooper has banned the wearing of Ugg Boots because students could hide “contraband” like cell phones in those loose-fitting boots. Her rule is that students must leave cell phones and boots in their lockers. One mother commented that she keeps her cell phone in her bra while another said that she uses the waistband of her underwear. Principal Cooper has not banned those garments from campus.
The New York City Department of Education bans students from saying the following words: birthday, dancing, dinosaur, disease, divorce, Halloween, poverty, slavery and terrorism. I’m guessing more colorful words like soda, eight-ball, blow, pregnant, a-hole and douche bag are all acceptable.
Most of us have horror stories about school lunches (although nothing as bad as the children who died in India earlier this year). When I was growing up, I wondered what was in a Salisbury steak and if there was any chicken in the breaded chicken. I remember taking my lunch back to the lunch lady once dissecting the breaded chicken with her in search of even a granule of chicken.
Along those lines, Susan Levin of the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine has filed a complaint with the Department of Agriculture to ban milk from schools. While the American Heart Association recommends milk to growing children, Levin and her Physicians group believe that children should get their calcium from green vegetables, soy milk and fruit juice. Me thinks Levin is a closet vegan.
When a student you know complains about school this year, show them this article and remind them that the Coachella Valley has some of the best public schools in the state.
Also remind them that education is the best way to a better tomorrow.
