By Maureen Forman
As we embrace a new year, many of us pledge to be a nicer person, to be kinder, less negative, more compassionate. In short we make the promise to be the very best versions of ourselves this year.
For parents, that often involves grappling with the unnecessary fights we have with our children. And for parents that were raised in harsh households, this can be a particular challenge. Even though we all pledge to never do anything our parents did, somehow we hear the same critical phrases, exasperated tones and reactive behavior that we swore we would never repeat coming right out of our very own mouths!
So here are some 3 tips that may be helpful:
1) Forgive yourself. We can only give what we were given until we learn new behaviors. That’s the way humans are built. All we can do is the best we know at a given time.
2) Teach Yourself: Learn some new behaviors. This can begin very simply and a little change goes a long way. For example her are a few tricks that can de-escalate an argument with a child
3) Nourish yourself: Make more time for walking, praying or learning. As our adult brain flourishes and adds new layers, the old patterns learned in childhood become proportionately smaller and less influential in our daily lives.
The key is to try something different. Once you see the results of feeding your adult self with nurturing energy and withdrawing energy from all needless conflict you will be a believer! You will see arguments decrease and harmony increase… and the very best version of you will get to shine!