By Slim Man
I got my start as a songwriter at Motown. Seriously. That was my first real job. I’ve always been fascinated by songwriting. One of my favorite things to do—and I’ve done this most of my life—is to deconstruct and reconstruct hit songs.
Old songs, new songs, I would take them apart and put them back together to see what made them work. I still do. It helps me with my own songwriting.
Last week I did a TV show in San Juan Capistrano, California, a talk show called Breakfast with Gary and Kelly. It was at the performing arts center, and it was live-streamed around the world.
I sang a few Sinatra songs, had a chat with Gary and Kelly, then sat at the piano and played two of my songs. Then I did a cooking segment and showed them how to make my Hail Caesar! Salad. Then I sang “The Best Is Yet to Come”, and drove back to Palm Springs.
As I was driving through the mountains on Route 61, I started singing “She’ll Be Coming ‘Round the Mountain.”
Most people who know me know about my affliction—Attention Surplus Syndrome. I think about things for way too long.
I started thinking about that song. Here is the first verse:
“She’ll be coming ’round the mountain when she comes,
She’ll be coming ’round the mountain when she comes,
She’ll be coming ’round the mountain,
She’ll be coming ’round the mountain,
She’ll be coming ’round the mountain when she comes.”
My first thought, as a songwriter? That whole first verse is just one line repeated five times; “She’ll be comin’ round the mountain when she comes.” It seems a bit lazy. Repetitive. But catchy.
I started thinking…
Who is “she”? And why is she coming ’round the mountain? She’s not coming from next door. She’s not coming from a block away. She’s coming ’round the mountain. She’s making quite a journey.
Then, I start singing the next verse…
“She’ll be driving 6 white horses when she comes.”
Six white horses?
My first thought? This gal must be very high maintenance. She’s not bringing one white horse. She’s bringing six.
And this gal, she’s driving 6 white horses. She’s not taking them for a stroll, she’s not moseying around the farm…she’s driving them. Which means, she’s probably got the whip in her hands, and she’s whipping these horses’ behinds.
Either she wants to get somewhere really fast, or she just read Fifty Shades of Grey.
The next verse?
“We will all come out and greet her when she comes.”
You’re damn right we will! My first words to her?
“Hi, Hon. How are ya? Question…Did ya have to bring 6 white horses? Could you have brought just one or two? Where are we gonna keep these animals? Who’s gonna clean up all that horseshit?”
Here is the next verse:
“She’ll be wearing red pajamas when she comes.”
Are you kidding me? What kind of woman drives six white horses in red pajamas? Boots and jeans seem more appropriate. But red pajamas?
But it’s the final verse that really gets me thinking, way too hard and way too long…
“She will have to sleep with Grandma when she comes.”
I love both my Grandmas. But if I went to either of them and said, “Listen, Granny, I’ve got this Babe coming over, she’s riding 6 white horses, she’s wearing red pajamas, and she’s sleeping with you…”
I’d get a rolling pin bounced off my cranium. I’d get a frying pan to the forehead.
That’s what I was thinking about as I drove through the mountains to Palm Springs.
I just wanted you Slim People to have a glimpse into this rare and non-contagious malady that I have. Attention Surplus Syndrome.
It can be pretty bad.
But not as bad as having a woman driving 6 white horses show up at your house in red pajamas wanting to sleep with your grandmother.
And this is a children’s song?
Who loves ya?
Slim Man has a new cookbook, Slim Man Cooks, and has a concert this Saturday afternoon in Laguna Beach at the Festival of Arts. All details at slimman.com.
