By Robin E. Simmons

Beyond the edge of recorded history, the Winter Solstice has brought a celebration that embeds the promise of light and warmth and new life amidst the darkest, longest, and coldest of days.

No matter what ethnic, religious or pagan belief you venerate — or dismiss, there’s no avoiding the pop-culture submission to this time of year. And nowhere is this more dominant than in the movies that vie for our attention.

For the sentimental and devout, there’s always the certified holiday classics like: IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE, THE BISHOPS WIFE, CHRISTMAS CAROL (both the 1951 version and Robert Zemeckis’ surprisingly beautiful motion capture version starring Jim Carrey), CHRISTMAS STORY, CHRISTMAS VACATION and MIRACLE ON 34th STREET.  All are available in Blu-ray editions for repeated seasonal viewings.

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However, for those post-modernists who are sickened by the forced sentiment of a materialistic culture that subverts the sacred for the god of mammon, there are other titles that have gained their own seasonal devotees.


Bad Santa BAD SANTA

In our home, this acerbic and at first seemingly cynical film from Terry Zwigoff has struck a cord with its deeper story of unconditional love and redemption. For me, this is among truest of all modern film depiction of what Christmas is all about. All the real-life obscenities and blasphemies do not dampen or diminish the power of a troubled, overweight, bullied child‘s belief in something beyond the pain of his life as symbolized by a home-invading derelict of a decayed Santa.

The dying, alcoholic career criminal Santa played by Billy Bob Thornton is as authentic here as he was in SLING BLADE.  His sidekick elf Marcus (Tony Cox) is a piece of work as he exploits and enables a drunk while manipulating the good will and guilt of those with whom he must deal. But it’s Brett Kelly as the trusting, bullied, overweight kid who reminds them of the true meaning of Christmas. The late Bernie Mac and John Ritter co-star. A powerful, poignant and heartfelt film disguised as a parody of all that’s wrong with the commercialization of the sacred. The Blu-ray includes several different cuts.  Lionsgate.  Blu-ray.


Rare ExportsRARE EXPORTS

Originally an award winning series of short films, now expanded by director Jalmari Helander into a quirky feature. This strange, horrifying Christmas tale is set in the frozen wastes of Finland where local reindeer herders battle an ancient but newly manifest evil: Santa Claus. Yes, THE Santa!  But it’s his vast army of vicious brutish, elfish “helpers” that have to be killed — or tamed.  Single father Rauno (Jorma Tommila) and his young son, Pietari (Onni Tommila) must sort out a truth for themselves that will ensure their future. This disturbing, regional folktale made real is unlike any “Christmas movie” you have seen.  Oscilloscope Pictures.   Blu-ray


SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANSSANTA CLAUSE CONQUERS THE MARTIANS

If you missed the special screening at Palme d’Or last year, you can find this underground cult fave on DVD and still experience the bizarre tale of an intergalactic mission to kidnap Santa in an effort to stop young Martians from spending all their time watching TV shows from earth touting Santa’s praises. Almost unwatchable in an ordinary state of mind, this 1964 entry in the Clausian cinematic oeuvre stands alone.  I’m surprised it hasn’t become a Broadway musical. Seriously. Look for a young Pia Zadora (remember her?) as Grimar.  Synergy Enterainment.  DVD.


March of Wooden SoldiersMARCH OF THE WOODEN SOLDIERS

As adapted from Victor Herbert’s operetta “Babes in Toyland,” there’s more of the Holiday Spirit in this 1934 classic than in most of the insipidly lame attempts of movies that exploit this holiday season.

Dum (Stan Laurel) and Dee (Oliver Hardy) are Santa’s toymakers preparing for the big delivery on Christmas Eve. Mother Goose and nursery rhyme characters are all over the place and Stan Land Ollie are in constant trouble (“Is that 100 six-foot toy soldiers or 600 one-footers?”) Silas Barnaby, (remember “the meanest man in town”?), Bo Peep (she’s being forced into marriage by Silas or he will evict Bo’s mom, who is in fact The Old Woman In The Shoe). And there’s Tom Tom the Piper’s Son (Ms Peep’s true love) and the big finale with the creepy attack of the Bogeymen.

This classic has been cleaned up, digitally remastered and colorized and now transferred to hi-def (Blu-ray) and looks about as perfect as the best of old style children’s book illustrations. It’s said that Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy themselves wanted this one in color. And now it is.  Certainly no sacrilege, this is one beautiful, Fauvistic fever dream of a movie. Enjoy this weirdly mesmerizing holiday treat.

March of Wooden Soldiers1That said, there is something else to be consider:

For those who dare to read between the lines (or movie frames), this film can be seen as a sly and subversive horror fest that plumbs deeply disturbing psychological and political issues rarely touched on in contemporary films. I am amazed that someone hasn’t examined this in detail and I have often wondered how much of it may have been intentional — perhaps from the brilliantly demented mind of Stan Laurel. Only on the surface is this a children’s movie.  TCM Shop.  Blu-ray.

Merry Christmas.  RobinESimmons@aol.com