By Sunny Simon

My friend Judith is an exceptional individual. She is one of those rare “do it anyway” people. Generous beyond measure she is the first to come to the aid of a friend, a foe or a stranger. Serving as a role model for me, her children and the community, Judith’s kind deeds have touched the lives of many. She spends her life paying it forward.

The other day over lunch I could tell something was bothering my virtuous friend. After a bit of dancing around with the “oh it’s nothing” line, she finally looked me in the eye and with a deep sigh confessed to feeling saddened by the action of a friend. In her typically do-good style, Judith came to the aid of an associate by paying her tuition to a self development class, no strings attached. While enrolling in the sixteen week workshop her friend was filled with gratitude. By week four she was a drop-out with a bitter complaining attitude about the instructor, the other students and any other reason she could find to justify walking away from Judith’s generous investment in her future.

It was obvious to me Judith had no regrets about assisting the woman. Her concern was the missed opportunity. Completing the course would have helped this individual both personally and professionally. As our discussion came to an end, I asked Judith if there was a lesson learned for her in this situation. She gave me her warm, loving 1,000 watt smile and said yes… “do it anyway.”

If you are familiar with the verses written on the wall of Mother Teresa’s home for children, in Calcutta, India, you understand the mantra. The first phrase is: “People are often unreasonable, irrational and self-centered. Love them anyway.” People like Judith who offer kindness with no expectations have a pure heart and positive mindset.

The act of unconditional giving is no easy feat. Most of us are looking for a bit of emotional payback, perhaps a smidgeon of recognition, or a minute to bask in the warm glow of expressed gratitude. We often feel cheated when denied a heartfelt thank you. Judith and other individuals with her mindset understand that expecting reciprocity limits the pureness of the gift. A caring unselfish deed carries an inherent emotional benefit. Test this by performing an unconditional kindness this week. By giving with no expectation, you will experience a sense of peace and joy which is an incentive to “do it anyway.”

Sunny Simon is the owner of Raise the Bar High Life and Career Coaching. More about Sunny at

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